17 Totally Normal Things to Feel Right Now

How to deal with dark times | Tim Keller

The Awe Of God

This year I have begun the year with a re-calibration of my soul. Paul Tripp's book Awe: Why It Matters for Everything We Think, Say, and Do is just what I have needed.

Check out this video:

It's All About Relationships

Jeffrey Kranz, from the Bible Project has a great, quick infographic that will help you understand the Bible' s use of "One another".

Owner or Ambassador

As a parent, as a father, which are you? Do you view yourself as an owner of your kids or an ambassador? Paul David Tripp in his book Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family suggests that parents are more accurately to consider themselves as ambassadors.  Tripp aids a parent in discerning his bent through the following four areas.
1. Identity- Where you get the sense of who you are. 
Owner- "Parents tend to look to get their identity, meaning, purpose, and inner sense of well-being from their children."  I have struggled with this throughout my parenting. Parents who tend to talk about their children's successes could struggle here.
Ambassador - An ambassador parent does not need to obtain their identity from their children because they receive their identity from the Lord.
2. Work - What you have been called to do.
Owner- The job of an owner parent is to turn their kids into something. Parents "have a vision of what they want their children to be, and they think that their work as parents is to use their authority, time, money, and energy  to form their children into what they have conceived that they should be." (p.18)
Ambassador-An ambassador parent understands they represent someone much larger than themselves. "They know that what they have been called to be are instruments in the hands of One who is gloriously wide and is the giver of grace that has the power to rescue and transform the children who have been entrusted to their care." (p. 18-19)
3. Success- What is defined as success
Owner- The owner parent looks for certain markers of success in their children like academic performance, athletic achievement, musical ability, and social likeability.  While personal achievements are good things to look at, they do not determine parental success.
Ambassador- An ambassador parent does not determine success horizontally.  Rather, he defines successful parenting  "... about being a usable and faithful tool in the hands of the One who alone is able to produce good things in your children." (p. 19) Success for an ambassador parent comes from God not themselves.
4. Reputation- This is what communicates to people who and what you are all about. 
Owner- Simply put, owner parents make their children trophies to be displayed to their friends.
Ambassador - An ambassador parent understands that anything positive that children become is "trophies of the Savior that they have sought to serve." (p. 20)

The question that a relational father needs to determine is where he falls. Are you an owner parent or an ambassador parent?

What Is Your One Thing?

I have been reading A Shelter in the Time of Storm, by Paul David Tripp during my personal time with God. Today,  Psalm 27:4 was particularly challenging: "One thing I have asked of the Lord, that will I seek after."  The concept of what occupies your heart connects to fathers.  Often, things other than the Lord seem to control a father's heart. What is one thing that functions as your Lord? For most of us, the one thing in our lives is not the Lord.  Tripp asked this probing question to help determine what occupies your heart: "Life has meaning and I have worth only if I have _______________ in my life." (p. 39) Fathers, we need to evaluate the "one-thing" that can captivate our hearts other than the Lord. Tripp says, "In every situation and relationship of your everyday life, there is a one-thing war being fought on the turf of your heart."  Tripp offers the following catalog to help you identify what could take the place of the Lord in your heart:

Power. Life has meaning or I have worth only if I have power and influence over others.
Approval . I am loved and respected by _______________.
Comfort . If I have a certain kind of pleasure or experience.
Image . If I have a certain look or body image.
Control . If I am able to have mastery over a particular area of my life.
Dependence . If someone is there to keep me safe.
Independence . If I am completely free of the obligation or responsibility to take care of someone.
Inclusion . If a particular social or professional group lets me into their inner ring.
Achievement . If I am recognized for my accomplishments.
Prosperity . If I have a certain level of wealth, finance, nice possessions.
Work . If I am highly productive and get a lot done.
Religion . If I am adhering to my religion's codes and accomplished in its activities.
Irreligion . If I am totally independent of organized religion and have self-made morality.  
Race or Culture . If my race or culture are ascendant and recognized as superior.
A Person . If this one person is happy to be in my life and happy with me.
Family . If my children/parents are happy with me and need me.
Helping . If people are dependent on me and need me.
Suffering . If I am hurting or having a problem, only then do I feel noble, worthy of love, or free of guilt.  

Which one do you most relate to? As relational fathers, we need to be aware of our tendencies to replace the Lord with something else.  The reason we need to be students of our hearts is because "your one thing will control your heart, and whatever controls your heart will exercise inescapable influence over your words, choices, and actions." (Tripp, p. 38) My prayer is that your one-thing will be the Lord!